


LONELY AT THE TOP [EN]

by TRASHiNiMA



Category: Apex Legends (Video Games)
Genre: Blood As Lube, Broken Bones, Choking, M/M, Rape/Non-con Elements
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-05-27
Packaged: 2020-03-20 10:28:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18990835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TRASHiNiMA/pseuds/TRASHiNiMA
Summary: Maybe he was becoming conceited, it was no use to try to hide it. He was undefeated, leaving enemies in pieces in the arena. He had become an elitist. It's a sad life he was starting to live. It was getting lonely. But he kind of liked it lonely at the top.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [LONELY AT THE TOP](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18674704) by [TRASHiNiMA](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TRASHiNiMA/pseuds/TRASHiNiMA). 



> I translated my fanfiction because i felt alone and sad.
> 
> Fiction à caractère Explicite [-18]  
> Type : BL (bxb)  
> Contenus : rape ; blood ; violence  
> Les personnages ainsi que l'histoire sont à Respawn Entertainment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thank you to [@jhopeinfiresme](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jhopeinfiresme/pseuds/jhopeinfiresme) that is working very hard to correct my fanfiction ! Prologue is done btw ! Hope you'll enjoy reading with this new clean look !

_In the present..._

The frenzy from the crowning of a champion was just as impressive the first time as the twentieth. It was almost impossible to get tired of it, never knowing what was going to happen because each experience was unique. Fans that followed the young rookie under the pseudonym of Octane were massed on the stage like a human ocean, clamoring his name in unison with such passion that it vibrated his entire body before he was even on stage. It was powerful. Spotlights lit up to the rhythm of loud music, which could really make someone deaf at this point. But in Octavio's head, everything was blurred and distant. Glory, money; the most popular legends were fighting to keep their places at the top, but at what price?

From the smoke on the stage rose an impressive cloud of fire, announcing the arrival of a champion who would enter through the main door. Octane, the adrenaline junkie with an impressive track record of twenty consecutive wins, did not.

Octane lived for the stage, the danger, the speed. He was once only a stranger to the crowd, underestimated because of his legs - "What do you think you can do with your iron chicken legs, boy?" - , because he was too skinny and they thought he would fall at the first fist fight - "I could probably lift you with one hand." The daredevil that was Octavio soon showed all of his competitors that they had made a big mistake crossing his path.

But this time, the champion was nowhere to be seen, even after being called by employees and fans alike. Some fans started to ask questions after just five minutes, which seemed like an hour when they were standing and waiting for him. Octane had never been late to celebrate his glory, had always making his own triumphal entry at his image.

The arena started to fall awkwardly silent, some people whistling impatiently. The director was beyond confused, pressing at his headset to call the staff working behind the scenes. But nothing. No trace of the legend in question.

In the infirmary, Ajay codename: Lifeline. She was taking care of a minor injury on a patient when a staff member came to find her.

"Can not find him, eh? Gimme five minutes, I think I know where Octavio's hiding."

If there was one person who knew Octavio better than himself, it was Ajay. In a way, she was like his guardian angel. A grouchy guardian angel sometimes tired of Octane's foolishness, but his guardian angel nonetheless.

She met him when he had lost his legs during a dangerous grenade stunt. The ambulance brought him in to the hospital she was working at and Ajay operated on his mangled legs for more than nine hours. She worked hard on the heavy surgery, removing the legs that were too damaged to be saved. It was heartbreaking to know a part of the man was gone and he would not be able to walk anymore. He would probably use a wheelchair for the rest of his life.

Then, Ajay realised she knew the guy from a stupid internet channel. His name was "Octane" the Daredevil. She kind of admired him for cheating death. He could be stupid but at least he was doing what he liked, and she could only admire and respect him for that. She also knew that he would probably go insane and do some stupid shit if he realized be couldn't walk again and be himself. He needed to move, to run, to feel the wind in his hair and bugs stuck in his teeth.

Ajay couldn't let him stay like that without doing anything, watching this guy become a shadow of himself. She gave herself a personnal goal to create prostheses for him, something that could help him to be himself again.

Ajay didn't want him to fail. Losing limbs could change a person, but it wasn't a reason to give up. She knew Octane. She wanted to believe he wouldn't let that put him down. He probably knew the risks of taking the safety pin off of the grenade that day.

Despite that, Ajay genuinely feared he wouldn't be able to handle the most difficult part of relearning how to walk. That man wasn't known for his patience. It would be a difficult step on both emotional and physical standpoints.

During the few years where Ajay took care of Octane, both had the opportunity to get to know each other better. They even became very close friends. Sure, Octane was difficult at times and pain could make him grumpy and often violent. But the doctor had quite some patience compared to him. She wanted him to succeed with all her heart. It would be a great thing to Octane, but also a personal win for Ajay as a doctor and a friend.

_In the past, Octane's apartment..._

"Octane, I'm home," said the doctor, closing the front door.

Before turning on tbe light, Ajay placed two plastic bags on the counter of the kitchen. They were filled with food to feed the twenty-four-year-old.

"Octavio?" She called again as she walked into the apartment.

It was already strangely tidy, but Ajay knew that touching the junkie's stuff could upset him. It was not a disaster, it was an "organized mess" as Octane liked to call it.

Still no answer, so she ventured deeper into the apartment. No light filtered from the toilet or bathroom so the next place to check was the bedroom.

"Octavio," she gently hummed, tapping the back of her index finger on the door to signaling her presence. "I hope you're not pretending to sleep. I love you but ya can't do that every time I come."

The young woman opened the door enough for one pink bun to slip through before deciding to go back abruptly. The odor of the room had the effect of a slap to the face.

"Tave..." She sighed, pushing open the door with the tip of her finger. The smell was too strong, nearly nauseating. "You know when you smoke you have to open the window," she scolded. "Really."

"Lo siento," sighed Octane from his bed. "It's just... Nothing fucking works."

Ajay pouted as she entered the room. She didn't turn on the light, just left the lava lamp on the bedside table to give them a little light before to opening the window a little, letting fresh air invade the bedroom.

"The usual?" Inquired Ajay, sitting next to him.

Lying on his back, two cushions under his knees, Octane seemed tired and neglected. His bedhair was worse than ever and he was dressed in a simple sweatshirt and shorts tied at the ends.

"Even the weed doesn't do anything. I always feel like... you know... It's just awful."

Ajay nodded slowly, silently observing her patient and friend. The sensation of the ghost limbs was always persistent and very painful.

"Ajay... Can you...?"

"Of course," she smiled. She didn't need the young man to say more. She knew that in his bedside table was medicine that would help to soothe the pain a little.

Octane did't hesitate to take off his shorts, wearing only underpants before lying down again. He let himself be manipulated at the care of his guardian angel, who put on a pair of blue surgical gloves before pouring the ointment on her palm. She rubbed her hands for a moment first so to make sure he wouldn't feel discomfort from the cold. Then gently, she began with a light caress, testing the reactivity of her patient. He does not react, a silent green light.

"It hurts..." whined the Daredevil after the first strokes.

"You know," she said, continuing to massage his legs carefully. "I'm not only your doctor. If you have a problem like this, you can always call me and I'll come to help you."

"I know I know. But it's hard to be dependent. I've never been, I never wanted to. But now... look at me, I'm atrophied, I have become useless."

"Stop ya bullshit. No longer having both legs does not mean ye're useless."

"Oh?" Snorted Octane with disdain. "Uh, what do you want me to do now, huh? I screwed up my life because I was bored. Because I wanted - no, needed to feel something and now what? I've burned myself like this."

Ajay turned to look at her friend when she heard a slight change in his voice followed by a very slight sobs. He has an arm covering his face.

"And I don't regret that. No, it's worse because I'm going to miss it... I just regret not being able to do what I love, what made me feel free and --- OUCH! Ajay! Mierda, what was that for!?"

Octane straightened up on his elbows, glancing incomprehensively at his friend. She stopped massaging him and approached him, taking off her gloves.

" _Hou op, idioot_." Ajay closed her eyes, taking a deep breath before opening them again, "Did not I promise ya something when you came out of the hospital? You were so annoying back then on your hospital bed..." she said in a falsely accusatory tone. "I said that I have been obliged to create prostheses so sophisticated that even the androids would be jealous. With these prostheses, you will even be able to participate in the Apex Games, maybe even become champion! Now dry me those tears and give everything you have!"

Octane nodded gently, his green eyes staring at the sweet face of his friend who had already been champion of the Apex Games several times. It was hard to believe at the moment that she was called Lifeline more than just because she saved lives.

Ajay came closer to him, gently wiping the tears from his cheeks then helping him put his shorts on before taking place at his side. She invited the young man to come and curl up against her. He seemed very frail but Ajay knew it was only a matter of time before it passed. Octavio Silva was a flame that would never stop burning.

"Gracias," the junkie whispered against the hollow of her neck, finally appeased.

"This is just a little pause to wait for the medicine to take effect, then we'll take a little walk for 30 minutes."

"Uh, Sí, por favor "

 _In the_ _present_ ...

"Octavio!"

Ajay rushed into the men's bathroom, completely ignoring the indignant glances directed toward her, there was more important things she had to take care of at this moment. She had seen Octane limping along the hall on the way to the bathroom, leaving drops of blood on the floor and red marks on the walls he leaned on.

When she entered the room, Octane was standing in front of the tap calmly, dressing his wounds with damp paper. His brow was open, his lower lip swollen. But it was nothing compared to the deeper wounds in his slashed arms, sliced almost too cleanly. Had he fallen on Bloodhound's sharp blade?

Octane didn't even turn around. He gently put his mask back over his mouth, leaving only his goggles on his forehead.

"Ah, I'm late, it's not my day today."

Ajay opened her mouth, but no sounds came out, they were blocked. Octane had just cut it in one moment by kissing her on the forehead and going out without a word.

"Octavio, please wait, tell me what happened in the arena. I know you didn't turn your camera off, it broke!"

Octavio turned slowly this time, his gaze darker than ever. His eyes, which usually shone with an emerald glow, didn't reflect any light. His smile was so fake it gave Ajay unpleasant goosebumps from fear and worry.

"I won Ajay, that's all that matters."

"That's bullsh---!"

"Octavio, we were looking for you everywhere, we have to go now!" A member of the staff pressed, out of breath from looking for the star of the day.

They left no time for Lifeline to say anything. She watched her friend enter the stadium helplessly. He was such in a bad shape, how could they not even notice it?!

"FUCK!" She yelled, throwing a punch to the nearest door while a voice boomed louder at the stage.

"And the champion of season one, for the twenty-first week: OCTANE!"

Octane entered the stage and lined up beside the announcer, who took his wrist in their hand, wrapping fingers perfectly around a purplish mark before lifting his arm in victory.

Octane's body screamed in agony, his mind urging him to flee the scene but he was stuck in place, alone. He could not tell anyone what he had just lived through. Sponsors would leave, his fans would leave, the respect people had for him would be gone. He couldn't let that happen by screwing up now. He had to win at all costs.

Octane lived only for those moments. To be the first, to be the best, the most feared. Maybe he was becoming conceited, it was no use to try to hide it. He was undefeated, leaving enemies in pieces in the arena. He had become an elitist. It's a sad life he was starting to live. It was getting lonely. But he kind of liked it lonely at the top.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update 24/06/19 thank you @jhopeinfiresme for the lovely correction ! The final chapter will take a little more time. It doesnt exist in french yet, but i should be able to make it this month, my pc's baaaack !

"So. Nervous?" The doctor said, looking up from her laptop and staring at her patient's hands as he continued to crack his knuckles.

"Me? Never," sneered the arena champion arrogantly. "But, will you watch the show? I bought a new Go-Pro for the occasion."

"Of course. I am quite disappointed I won't be able to participate today, but the games will be broadcasted on TV, and your Twitch channel will be open on my laptop, just in case, just for you."

"You're the best, Ajaaay!" Octane boomed before to literally throw himself at the young woman.

She barely had time to finish screwing the last bolt on his prosthesis when he almost knocked her off of the couch with his weight. In his defense, he would say he had the decency to at least "wait" for her to -almost- finish what she was doing before jumping on her. He would say he wasn't that heavy...

But Ajay was so used to this man, she predicted the moment when the junkie would land on her. He was like an overenthusiastic dog and she was able to avoid being thrown out of the couch with him in the whole process. She would swear that if she looked behind him, she would see a tail wagging in all directions. She hugged her big idiot, keeping him in her arms and cursing silently at the fact that he was -sometimes- too abrupt with his actions. But she couldn't get mad at him... He was too lovely.

Patting his back lovingly, Ajay parted from her dear friend and asked one last time,

"Are you sure of yaself? Of your legs? You know you do not have to go."

"No, no, I assure you, I'm fine. Mira." Octane jumped from one leg to the other like an excited child. "I'm fine!"

When Octane went to sit back beside her, Ajay couldn't stop her hand from touching his surprisingly soft dyed hair. Octavio sighed silently and leaned under the palm of her hand. She was so sweet with him. Such precious moments of peace and confort like that, he would never get tired of them. She was such a great friend.

"All right," smiled the young woman. She knew she could not dissuade him anymore, the stubborn bastard. "Get dressed then, we leave for the arena in twenty minutes."

"Sweeeeet!" The junkie ran into his room again with metallic noises. "I feel like my heart is gonna explode from excitement!"

...

Even if Octane had entered the great Apex Games building a good twenty times before, deep down, he still felt the same adrenaline flowing in his veins. This was the sort of excitement that wouldn't let him keep still for more than two seconds.

Grabbing his Go-Pro, he untied it from his chest and tied it to a selfie pole, running around in all directions.

"Buenos días, Twitch! Hola, fans! Live from the Apex Games HQ!" he said, pointing to the huge building with the Apex triangular logo. "Today is going to be PLUS ULTRA. Will there be a victory? Of course! Ooooh mira, mira!"

Octane rushed straight over to a person he'd met in the games.

"Heeeey would you look at that, amigos? Isn't this our pretty boy over here? Say wassap to all my followers!

"Pretty boy huh?" the other said shyly, releasing the hologram he was fighting with for god knows why. "Wassup, y'all? Free fact about me: They say I'm good," the legend started with a charming smile, "but there's two of me," he pointed to his hologram who made a peace sign, "so I'm good twice. That's math, and today, Octane will be defini-defo... Will lose the match, that's what I'm trying to say."

"Do you hear that?" laughed Octane, making fun of the trickster. "Arrogant! I can not wait to make him eat my dust!"

"Hey!"

"Heh heh. See you in the Arena, papi!"

Continuing through the building for several meters, the daredevil happened on other popular legends who, like him, had won more than twenty games. The famous hunter Bloodhound was sitting against a wall, silently watching around. Like everyone else, they were surely waiting to be called. Their bird was perched on their shoulder, begging for caresses under his beak. Octane had been tempted to join the them by the wall but as he approached, the bird turned to him and croaked, flapping his wings, bulging his chest and swelling his feathers, making him bigger and more intimidating. The message was clear: do not approach!

Octane put his hands up in submission, retreating slowly until the bird calmed down. Then he spun himself around with the idea of leaving as soon as possible, trotting away with his selfie pole still in hand.

"Eeeehh well, todos, I never knew what to think of this Legend but they're pretty scary. Anyway--"

Oof.

The air in his lungs escaped him when he bumped into something huge. Too soft to be a wall, but stiff enough to be an...

"Ah, old man," he said a little embarrassed, releasing a nervous laugh. "I wasn't looking where I was going."

Caustic had not been moved an inch from his place, and had not even made a sound. He just stared at Octane with his golden eyes in such coldness. The junkie was scratching the back of his head nervously while the man seemed to probe him through his goggles to see into the depths of his soul. It was disturbing and terribly scary at the same time. Slowly backing away, Octane suddenly found his ass on the ground when the big man pushed him out of his way with careless brutality.

"Yeah, that's it, walk away, old schnock," Octane mumbled, dusting off his clothes. He heared the thump of Caustic's boots stop and saw him turn menacingly in his direction but to avoid any more anger from the big man, Octane hurriedly said in defense, "I said I was sorry, okay?"

No need to look for a fight outside the arena. Octane knew he would not stand a second against a man like the mad scientist. Octane's body was disadvantageous when against the other. How could a little shrimp beat a bear? Better play smart and walk away.

Octane shook his head, still visibly a little annoyed. But he threw out all the bad atmosphere with a slap to his cheek. There was no time to think about a minor unpleasant detail that could ruin his fun, especially when the arena's doors opened at that moment.

It was kind of a critical moment. The most delicate part of the games was to know who was going to be with whom. Anything could happen. The most brutal champions could be paired together or with people who were just discovering games. The junkie only hoped not to fall with rookies he would have to babysit and carry on his shoulders to the victory.

Whatever, that could be an excellent challenge and also a boost for his ego...

Octane found himself stuck in an interminable waiting line. He was starting to lose patience and had begun shifting his weight from one leg to the other, looking over his neighbor's shoulders to see how many people were waiting before him. After an eternity where he really thought he would have gone crazy and started to yell to hurry the fuck up, he finally saw the end of the tunnel. Giving a smile to the hostess, he presented his participant card. Then once he was scanned and waited a few seconds, he was allowed to join the ship that would bring him into the arena with his team.

"Sixty... sixty... Oh, aquí."

Octane sat in his spot with his hands on his knees and began to observe the participants who were filling the ship one by one. The two places by his side were empty and the junkie was more than impatient to see the other two people who would join his team. After just five minutes, he lost patience and his right leg started to move up and down. Octane tried to occupy himself as best he could by grabbing a wrench from his bag and taking off a bolt from his prosthesis, removing his iron leg that he then oiled at the joints for the umpteenth time, like a tic, "just to be sure he did it" before a young woman finally came to stand in front of him.

"No way, Octane?"

"Hola hermana," smiles the junkie. "Have you been assigned to my dream team?"

"Yes, and Gods I can't believe it!" jumped the young woman with white hair. "You made me want to play the games, you're so awesome! I imagined my team being destroyed by yours to be honest haha. Never imagined I could be with you for one second."

Oh, she knew how to stroke Octavio's ego just right. The stranger sat next to Octane, who lowered his mask and gave her a cocky smile before extending his hand.

"Nice to meet you, ...?"

"Silver," she said, shaking his hand enthusiastically. Oh. She really was trembling. "Nice to finally meet you in flesh and bones!"

"Awww, you're gonna make me blush," he said. Then he turned his attention back to his leg, and to avoid awkward silence, he asked. "So, what is your specialty?"

"Um..." From the corner of his eye, he could see her fidgeting with her hands nervously.

"My suit can offer me an undetectable camouflage for twenty seconds even if my opponent has a detector..." she said shyly, but Octane was fast to reassure her.

"Not bad! That could be really useful for later. Twenty seconds is short but we can do something about it," he said. "And, do you have any idea of our third person? I really don't know what to expect for our last amigo. Certainly hope it's not Caustic, that old man. Although, eh, I always dreamed to yeet his ulti myself. It could be so cool, like, throwing it in the air with one of my jumpads, like "PSSHHHHHH" and "AAAAHH"! You know, the people who suffocate? They'll run like rabbits, then, POW! POW! Can you imagine that?? But, you know, I had a fight with him earlier so eh..."

Silver nodded her head, drinking the champion's words as Octane saw a man heading in their direction.

"Ah, fifty-eight," he whispered to himself, "it must be here. Hi, I'm Halo."

"Oh, hi! Nice to meet you, I'm Silver."

"Hola, chico," Octane said casually.

"I w-wasn't really sure that it w-was really you," stuttered the young man when he sat beside the legend. "I'm a little nervous, it's ... This is my first game and I really w-wasn't ready to find myself w-with the champion."

"Don't worry," Octane reassured him while putting back on his prosthesis. "We'll blow everything up! By the way, what's your thing?"

"I have a gadget that I developed. It's..." Halo paused, searching for his words. "It turns off the shields... for a second. It will be necessary to act quickly, it's just a prototype..."

"AH! Speed, hell yes! Okay, looks like we have a good team. We can probably do something with it."

Well, Octane wasn't really reassured by the idea of getting two rookies, but he would never tell them. But if they knew how to handle a weapon, aim and shoot, they could make it. They did have potential and really interesting gadgets.

" _Attention_ ," said a robotic voice. " _Check your equipment before the doors open. Drop will be in five minutes._ "

Confirming his Jet-pack was in order, Octane stood up, motioning to his team to follow him before heading for the cargo doors that would open in a few minutes. He patted his chest, turning on his Go-Pro.

"Back after a short cut, amigos! I'm the jumpmaster, duuuh. And I say we land in Skull Town. We'll avoid being gassed in the Bunker."

"I'm w-with you."

"Same. The cargo doors are going to be open in exactly," Silver checked the time. "Five... Four... Three... Two... One..."

"¡OLÉ! Do you feel the rush!?"

Octane jumped without hesitation, his back to the void, saluting his team and his competitors as he fell. Then he turned around and activated his jet pack to head to Skull Town.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, thank you for all the kind messages !
> 
> Second, a little warning about the last chapter who's gonna be ... Not happy at all. It will contain a rape scene, blood, humiliation. Why ? I don't know. I think i really like making my babies suffer ...  
> Hope you liked this little chapter before i break your heart. Uh.
> 
> Kisses


End file.
